Modern Day Conflict in the Workplace

Are you like me?  I’ve been finding that conflict in the world seems different these days.

More undertones, less trust, less “we’re in this together”.

More protecting ourselves, more reserved in our expressions, more weary.

I’ve been working with teams in many different industries, and I’m seeing these same characteristics come up.

I’ve been thinking about the whys.  Why is there less trust, more hesitation, more reservation?

Is it the political climate we are in right now? Is it an instability in the job market?  Is it the social media culture, or the 24/7 news cycle?

Is it the mixed messages we get from too many communication vehicles: text, email, slack, IM, group threads, and on and on.

There seems to be fatigue, weariness, and even a little suspicion.

So how do we show up in spite of all this?  I’ve been talking to teams, and we have come up with some strategies to tame cynicism and regain trust.

• Name it.  “It feels like we don’t have the trust we used to.” Or, “I’m sensing some weariness to say what’s really on our minds”.

  
  

• Slow down.  With so many ways to communicate, we have gotten into speed and hurrying through communication.  Slowing down, pausing, and thinking about what we say matters.

  
  

• Face to Face.  It’s always better than typing..... most conflict is about tone, not content. Direct conversation is always the best.

  
  

• Acknowledge the fear.  We are living in a fear-intensified space.  Fear of losing influence, job security, misunderstandings, and hidden agendas can magnify this.   Remember the facts, not the stories in our minds.

  
  

• Assume positive intent.  Conflict can stem from many places: ownership, unclear goals, unclear roles, and personal fears.  Clarifying these goes a long way to having less conflict.

  
  

• Re-normalize disagreements.  Our world seems to have lost this tendency.  Bring it back to your space.  We can agree to disagree.  Disagreements can lead to higher quality outcomes if we don’t let them become personal.

  
  

• Enact micro-trust. Start small to rebuild trust.  Do what you say you will, share the credit, admit when you are wrong, respond with respect, and say thank you.  Little changes make a big difference.

  
  

• Take care of you.  Keep your nervous system in check.  Dysregulation is palpable. Breathe, take a walk, step away.  Calm leaders create calmer teams.

Maybe conflict feels different not because people are worse…

But because the world feels less stable.

And when the world feels unstable, people hold tighter.

Your role as a leader?

Create steadiness. Create clarity. Create safety through consistency.

That’s modern leadership.