When you need to change your patterns
Are you like me? I love patterns, predictability and order in my life. I thrive on knowing what’s coming and being prepared.
Lately, my patterns have been blown up, and chaos has taken its place. Our family has experienced multiple parental losses in the last three months, and we’ve been adapting to changes in routines as we tackle the sandwich generation head on. Caregiving for grieving parents, taking care of grieving children, and trying to take care of ourselves has led to taking things day by day, hour by hour and sometimes minute by minute.
This has left me raw and emotionally exhausted. Trying to make sure everyone is taken care of and has what they need is a constant push-pull.
And my business has had to take a back seat during these times. So, how do we keep moving forward during this kind of chaos?
Here’s what I am learning as I move through this:
Prioritize: Wellbeing, your loved ones, and health. The rest can wait. In times of extreme change, come back to your core and what matters most.
Say yes to help: Family and friends often want to help. Let them. I any way that helps you- from meals, cleaning, errands, whatever. It’s a win-win for you and them.
Rest, Rest, Rest. Whenever you can. Consider it building up reserve, building up energy to do what you need to do. It’s necessary, not selfish.
Figure out what needs to be done work-wise and defer the rest. For me, my clients come first so keeping their sessions is a must. The other pieces can come at another time. I make a plan to check on those pieces in 15, 30 and 45 days. That lets me focus on my clients without guilt or stress.
For work, let your colleagues and coach help you. Often the things that hang over our heads are not as big as our minds make them out to be. I was stressing about my 2025 goals. My coach worked with me for just 15 minutes, and we were able to draft really good goals, milestones and metrics. It was a huge relief, and so much easier than I was thinking it would be.
Keep working on your mind, but with tremendous grace. What is fact vs. thought? How are your thoughts helping or hurting? How can you love yourself unconditionally through these times?
Get help for you: A therapist and/or a coach can be so beneficial during these times. Let them help you through your feelings, any overwhelm or trauma you may be experiencing.
Don’t forget to look for little bursts of joy: They may be hard to see but they are there. Something as simple as feeling the sun on your face, noticing a bird in your yard, or hearing a friend’s laugh may be all you need to momentarily lift your spirits.
And as my Uncle Dot used to say: Take things day by day. If you can’t do that, take things hour by hour. If you can’t do that, take things minute by minute. Such great advice to give ourselves a break and go with the flow. Sometimes, that’s truly all we can do.
I am finding that as I do these things, I have more clarity, calmness and a plan is forming in my mind for long term patterns. This gives me some peace of mind, knowing that a routine is in our future.
How will you handle changes in your patterns? I can’t wait to hear!
To learn more about working with The Sinha Group, schedule a discovery session at www.thesinhagroup.net.
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