A year ago, my corporate position was eliminated. There. I said it.
In today’s world, this has become a common occurrence. Every week I hear of friends, colleagues, and community members losing their jobs in this volatile environment. But, there was nothing common about it to me. For me:
My world stopped.
My health suffered.
My self-worth shattered.
My identity disappeared.
A psychologist I know once said to me, “Our minds can be assholes”. That was so true for me. Shame, humiliation, and self-hate all came to the surface and made themselves right at home. It consumed me in every way.
The good news is I’ve grown in a million ways, and I know myself in a deeper way than I ever have. I’m on my way to living my best life.
I didn’t get here on my own. I shared my vulnerabilities and felt my feelings with my community. I have the most wonderful web of family and friends who wrapped themselves around me: they picked me up and walked with me on every step of this journey. They helped me recover so I could move forward.
Another key to moving forward and reinventing my life was getting a coach. Having a coach that understood me, questioned me, and guided me in deep self-discovery saved me. And in that way, I saved myself. Having to face facts vs. thoughts and see what those thoughts were doing to my life was a gut-punch. But discovering how my emotions lead to my actions and results was a game changer. I had the power to turn it around and live a truer life.
I knew it as a coach, but to discover it in myself was very different. I needed a coach to show me my mind in ways I couldn’t on my own.
Over time, a few truths have emerged from working with my coach. These are still a work in progress:
Accepting what is. I spent too much time and energy arguing with my new reality. Reality will always win. The sooner you accept, the sooner you can heal.
Only speak to yourself as you would a child. We can be pretty cruel to ourselves. Speaking to a child involves gentility, kindness, love and patience. You deserve all those things.
Rest. Your body, your soul, your mind. Be unapologetic about the rest you need for however long you need it.
Hold space for yourself and feel the feelings hard. Give yourself the time. Then release them.
Replace the shame with self-compassion. This takes time and work, but this is key to moving forward.
Paint the vision of the life you want, the results you want.
Seem easy? Think again. It took me almost a year to get here, and I’m still working on myself. Living these truths takes constant work and attention. But here’s why it’s worth it to me:
I am now the CEO of my own company. A company that is thriving.
I work harder than I ever have, AND I am spending more quality time with my family and friends. Our relationships have never been better.
I work on MY terms and my schedule and go at my pace. And I only do work I love.
I try new things in a psychologically safe space where failure is accepted and embraced for what we learn from it.
I have an expanded community. I surround myself only with the most interesting, hardest working, kindest, and honest colleagues and collaborators. They fill my cup and make me better every day.
I accept myself more and am learning to love myself.
I am using this experience to help others through similar events, which is so rewarding.
I’m proof that the most difficult situations can liberate us. I’m on my way to living my best life.
If this journey resonates with you, I’d love to work with you. My passion is using my experiences to help anyone looking to find happiness, health, and purpose in their lives. Losing your job is painful and hard, and I can help you through to a brighter future.