Are you like me? Do you ever find yourself in a meeting with something valuable to say… but you hesitate? Maybe you think, “What if I sound silly?” or “I don’t want to step on anyone’s toes.”
You’re not alone. Many women are raised with the “Good Girl Myth”—the idea that we should be polite, agreeable, and avoid rocking the boat.
While kindness is a strength, staying silent when you have something to contribute doesn’t serve anyone—not you, your team, or your career.
My mom taught us the opposite: speak up, stand up and have your voice heard. She showed us these values by her work in philanthropy and advocacy.
And still, when it was my turn, it was hard. My mind was unkind, telling me I would look like a fool, or no one would care.
What Is the Good Girl Myth? The Good Girl Myth shows up in subtle ways, like:
Apologizing too much: “Sorry, I just wanted to say…”
Waiting for someone else to speak first, even when we have a great idea.
Downplaying our thoughts with phrases like, “This might not make sense, but…”
It’s rooted in a fear of being judged or seen as “too aggressive.” But here’s the truth: speaking up doesn’t make you bossy—it makes you a leader. Here’s why Your Voice Matters:
Your Ideas Are Valuable: We bring unique insights to the table. By staying quiet, we’re holding back solutions that could help our team or organization.
Visibility Builds Confidence: The more we speak up, the more comfortable we’ll become. People will start to see us as a key contributor, which can open doors to new opportunities.
You’re Inspiring Others: Every time we own our voice you encourage other women to do the same. And that’s what it’s all about!
So how do we start? We take small steps and slowly gain courage and confidence. Here’s how I take steps:
Prepare Ahead of Time: If meetings make you nervous, write down a few points you’d like to share. Having notes can help you feel more confident.
Claim Your Space: Instead of waiting for the “perfect” moment, simply jump in: “I’d like to add something…” or “Here’s what I think…”
Drop the Apologies: Strike “sorry” from your vocabulary when it’s not needed. Your ideas don’t need to be softened or excused.
Back Yourself Up: If someone interrupts or dismisses your point, calmly restate it: “I’d like to circle back to what I was saying earlier…”
Be the Meeting Starter: Instead of waiting for someone else to lead, kick off team discussions by saying, “Here’s an idea to get us started…” Taking the initiative makes us a natural leader.
The Thought Reclaimer: During a brainstorming session, if you notice your idea is dismissed, calmly say, “I’d like to revisit what I mentioned earlier because I think it’s important…” You earn respect for standing her ground.
The Good Girl Myth is just that—a myth. Being kind and collaborative doesn’t mean you have to stay quiet. Your voice deserves to be heard.
So, the next time you’re in a meeting, remember: You don’t need permission to speak up. The table is yours—take your seat.
I invite you to take my Leadership Assessment at www.thesinhagroup.net to understand your skill sets and develop some new intentions.
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